Am I still adrift? : The Philly Chronicles, part 2

When I initially started this website and the subsequent redesign, I was coming from a completely different state of mind.  I was unemployed.  Applying for job after job.  Constantly revamping who I was and what type of archivist I wanted to be.  I felt untethered and, as my website header states, completely adrift.  Initially, that description started out as a harmless joke but the more I thought about it the more it symbolized my life at the time.

But, after years of hard work, persistence, and a sprinkling of good luck, I found a job.  But, not just any job…it was the job of my dreams.  Now, here I am.  Striking out on another adventure.  And often times I think, am I still adrift?  Am I still searching?

After giving this much thought, I realized that I am.  I don’t have anything figured out.  And, I don’t have the road map to success.  I don’t know it all.  Anyone who claims to is probably trying to sell you something.

I’m only on part two of my “continual saga” to find my place in the archival profession and in life.  I’m still pursuing my version of the American dream.  Now, the difference is that I’m not looking for “the job” anymore.  Instead, it’s about figuring what it means to have “the job” and the responsibility it truly means to be an archivist and to grow up.  Although I’m 28 years old, for the first time I feel like an adult.

That in and of itself blows my mind everyday.  I didn’t realize prior to this job that I was living in an extended adolescence.  I had responsibilities but of my own choosing I could and would blow them off.  Or, not do my best.  Now, I’m in a job trying to make a name for myself, to build my career.  That means doing my best, giving it my all, and not stopping until I achieve what it is I’m after.

Adulthood. It’s a crazy thing.  Am I still adrift? Decidedly so.

To borrow from Star Trek, I’m boldly going where I’ve never gone before.


About Ashley S

I'm an archivist!
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